First Aired:

1973

Lyrics & Music: 

Bob Dorough

Performed by:

Jack Sheldon

Designed by:

Tom Yohe and Bill Peckmann

Animation by:

Phil Kimmelman and Associates

Conjunction Junction, what's your function?
Hooking up words and phrases and clauses.
Conjunction Junction, how's that function?
I've got three favorite cars that get most of my job done.
Conjunction Junction, what's their function?
I've got and, but, and or.
They'll get you pretty far.

And!
That's an additive, like this and that.
But!
That's sort of the opposite,
not this but that.
And then there's Or. O-R,
when you have a choice like this or that
And, but, and or get you pretty far!

Conjunction Junction, what's your function?
Hooking up two boxcars and making 'em run right.
Milk and honey, bread and butter, peas and rice,
(Hey that's nice)
Dirty but happy, digging and scratchin'.
Losing your shoe and a button or two,
He's poor but honest, sad but true,
Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Conjunction Junction, what's your function?
Hooking up two cars to one
When you say something like this choice
Either now or later
Or no choice:
Neither now nor ever.
(Hey that's clever)
Eat this or that, Grow thin or fat
Never mind, I wouldn't do that
I'm fat enough now!

Conjunction Junction, what's your function?
Hookin' up phrases and clauses that balance, like:
Out of the frying pan and into the fire.
He cut loose the sandbags,
but the balloon wouldn't go any higher.
Let's go up to the mountains or down to the seas.
You should always say Thank you,
Or at least say Please!

Conjunction Junction, what's your function?
Hookin'-up words and phrases and clauses
in complex sentences like:
"In the mornings, when I am usually wide awake, I love to take a walk through the gardens and down by the lake, where I often see a duck and a drake, and I wonder as I walk by what they would say if they could speak, although I know that's an absurd thought."

Conjunction Junction, what's your function?
Hookin'-up cars and making them function.
Conjunction Junction, how's that function?
I like tying up words and phrases and clauses.

Conjunction Junction, watch that function!
I'm going to get you there if you're very careful.
Conjunction Junction, what's your function?
I'm going to get you there if you're very careful.

I'M JUST A BILL

Trivia
Jack Sheldon's son John is the voice of the little boy.

 Multimedia (See & Hear!)

	Play the song (2MB MS Wave file).
	Play the song (450K RealAudio file).
	Play the video (8MB Quicktime file).

Lyrics

Boy:

I'm just a bill.
Yes, I'm only a bill.
And I'm sitting here on Capitol Hill.
Well, it's a long, long journey
To the capital city.
It's a long, long wait
While I'm sitting in committee,
But I know I'll be a law some day
At least I hope and pray that I will
But today I am still just a bill.

Gee, Bill, you certainly have a lot of patience and courage.

Well, I got this far. When I started I wasn't even a bill, I was just an idea. Some folks back home decided they wanted a law passed, so they called their local Congressman, and he said, "You're right, there oughta be a law." Then he sat down and wrote me out and introduced me to Congress. And I became a bill, and I'll remain a bill until they decide to make me a law. 

Boy:

BILL:

 Boy:

 BILL:

 Boy:

 BILL:

 Boy:

 BILL:

I'm just a bill
Yes, I'm only a bill
And if they vote for me on Capitol Hill
Well, then I'm off to the White House
Where I'll wait in a line
With a lot of other bills
For the president to sign
And if he signs me, then I'll be a law.
HOW I hope and pray that he will,
But today I am still just a bill.

You mean even if the whole Congress says you should be a law, the president can still say no?

Yes, that's called a veto. If the president vetoes me, I have to go back to Congress and they vote on me again, and by that time you're so old ...

By that time it's very unlikely that you'll become a law. It's not easy to become a law, is it?

No!

 MAN:

 BILL: